A backstory to finding purpose.
Disclaimer: I am no superhero, nor fictional character, so I am not sure I even merit a backstory, by definition. I am neither sure this post will be relevant to you, but I write in the hope that the reflections resonate with even just one other. We all have such different backstories…
Some kids know exactly what they want to be “when they grow up”. Some have their paths laid out for them. I was never guided or pushed down a certain path by my parents — which I am grateful for — and nor did I know my one dream job. My husband knew from the age of ten he wanted to be an Officer in the Royal Marines. For sometime I have been a fraction envious of these types of folks. Please note I have not been hulk-turns-green levels of envious, but rather to a level that resonates with Mr Tony Stark aka. Ironman, with the niggling ambition I can do more!
My journey to where I am now, both personally and professionally has been shaped by the fact that there were way too many career paths I wanted to pursue. Serious contenders into my teens included a politician, lawyer, journalist, athlete; a right old pick n’ mix of what were diverse, viable options. Anything you put your mind to you can achieve.
And it is the athlete route that was the frontrunner for some while. To cut a long story short — meniscus knee injuries, plural, resulted in a retracted scholarship to a US university. This, coupled with a subsequent loss of direction saw me make a somewhat snapshot decision to go to University in the UK a year ahead of my peers.
Everything becomes clear with hindsight. But looking back, I was most definitely nowhere near ‘ready’ to go to University and I was likely the most naive person in my halls. Not being one to ‘quit’, I stuck with my decision. (Something I now know is not always the honourable thing to do. It is ok to change direction and make a colossal pivot).
Not to paint my university experience as doom and gloom or wasteful; it was not. It is, however, the single decision I have made that has determined and shaped subsequent life choices. We get those junctures. It’s been hard not to wonder if I had chosen a different route, what path I would then have followed.
My path throughout my twenties and into my thirties has been a winding one, far from linear. With every re-route has come opportunity as well as challenges. Being a ‘glass half full’ person, I like to try to look back and take with me all the lessons I have learned. With each turn I have taken, I have always been led back to one signpost. Pointing to the fact that I truly want to have a positive impact on others in what I do. Clarity on how I did this, was blurred.
How I can help others in my professional life has not been starkly obvious to me. I am no doctor, nor soldier; saving the lives of others. I am not a teacher, firefighter or police woman; all stalwarts of our society. How could I give back? I have learnt from some great colleagues and bosses, and have had short-term objectives guiding me year-on-year. How was I to move beyond this? Working has never been about just taking home a pay cheque for me. Selfishly, I was always looking for more. Something deeper, with a sense of belonging.
This leads me to finding my purpose. Think Diana, aka. Wonder Woman discovering her powers that can save humankind. Only my comparative moment was in less picturesque surroundings, with no gold armour on and no mind blowing action scene of bows and arrows being fired! My moment was in rented military accommodation, comfy joggers on and likely grappling with a nine month old baby flinging food across the room. Ok, so there is little comparison to be made here! But finally, having felt like I did not have a long term goal for years, I now had clarity.
Looking retrospectively, I attribute the following factors to finding my purpose, and thus being the components of defining it: letting go of the idea that the activities that make me happy would be a component, learning from roles and tasks I have not enjoyed so much, becoming a parent to the most mischievous little boy, topped with an almighty and appreciated dose of fate.
To address the first factor, happiness is not purpose. Dancing, sprinting, writing, watching movies (the start of a pretty non-exhaustive list) make me happy and offer fulfilment. However these do not give me the daily drive to go about my work. What gives me this is the belief that I can help people. How does this translate in the business world I am entrenched in?
My past roles have been varied across industry and also business function. I have moved companies and roles more than some, but I am sure less than others. This in part has been a consequence of needing a new challenge to further myself, personal circumstances changing geography, life seeing to the fact that more disposable income was required, and lastly that I was looking for that culture. A culture within an organisation where there is a collective of others truly working toward the same beliefs and goals. Granted, it is harder to find this homogenous, unified thinking in large organisations, and variation in personality and attitude can be beneficial. However being a millennial, this cultural fit with shared values is paramount to me. This has become more apparent the more experience I have gained. As the renowned author of Saatchi & Saatchi fame, Paul Arden, declared, “Energy. IT’S 75% of the job. If you haven’t got it, be nice”. So where I have felt my energy drained in a workplace, I have looked at why, and tried to learn from it. This has not been a reason to move roles, but now, I feel this energy and feel it powering me through some pretty sleepless nights…
… These sleepless nights caused by my 15 month old son. I shan’t write too much on how having a child has given me purpose, as it feels particularly personal, even for this reflection piece. BOY has he given me purpose! Everything I do is now to support him and if in finding my purpose, I can show him a good example, I will have done right by him. There is research by Matthew Syed in the brilliant ‘Bounce’ whereby to become an expert in something he proposes that 10,000 hours or practice in that skill is required. If I had been more focused and done this would I have found my purpose sooner? That, I do not have the answer to; yet it is something I do think I will teach my son.
Finally, the delightful dose of fate which has led to professional purpose: meeting Perry Timms at leadership events I helped to stage circa 2012. Fast forward to 2019, and with a change of personal circumstances and the time feeling right to join the team at PTHR, a broader purpose was unveiled. This complete sense of purpose in my professional life is hugely attributable to being in a team who all share the same vision and values. This, I have found, is a rarity.
At PTHR, we share a commonality in our progressive hearts and minds. We are more than a team… a collective of close comrades… sharing the same beliefs. To make the world a better place through business. “No mean feat”, I hear you say, especially given we are a “micro consultancy”. However with good intention, I truly believe, objectives can be achieved and visions met. The common purpose stays alive and is energised by those embracing it. Our fearless leader Perry, has coincidentally recently written on the topic of ‘belonging’. This belonging heightens the sense of purpose in my vocation. And in doing so, the word ‘vocation’ doesn’t seem to do it justice.
I recall a “Women in Business” conference I attended two years ago, where the female leaders speaking were fantastic, truly inspiring. I took notes so frantically that reading back over them my handwriting appeared illegible! One speaker discussed that you could have a family and be successful in your career — should that be what you wish — yet these two things would likely not run in tandem; one had to take a hit as the other flourished, temporarily. Well I boldly propose that having success with my young family, and my young career need not be inversely proportionate. Both are my driving force. My raison d’etre. My purpose!
Throughout this piece I have distinguished between personal and professional purpose, yet they now seem somewhat indistinguishable. In writing this, I have found that a purpose transcends across all parts of an individual’s life.
Thank you for bearing with me on this winding journey, and read, that is my backstory! I apologise to those of you I lost with my Marvel/DC superhero references. I now turn to Disney, adding a sprinkling of purposeful magic, reminding us that where there is intent, big ambition can be achieved.
“First, think. Second, believe. Third, dream. And finally, dare.”
Walt Disney
